Dear Pioneer Woman:
Can you please explain to me why middle aged menopausal women have hot flashes, their metabolism slows down and their tummys start to pooch in places they’ve never pooched before?
Flashing and Pooching
It’s very simple. Hot flashes allow your body to rid itself of all naiveté, inexperience, and confusion of your youth. The copious sweat is a baptism—a sign of new life. With each hot flash, you become more and more the woman you were meant to be. Even if it happens on aisle nine of your local grocery store. A pooching tummy is put in place so that you will have a soft lap on which your grandchildren can sit as you read them Where the Red Fern Grows and Little Women every time they come to your house. They will develop a love of literature because their early memories of reading will involve comfort. I have no idea what to tell you about slowing metabolism. Give me a little bit and I’ll try to come up with a really good rationalization for that one, too.
I LOVE her explanation! My grandchildren do like to sit on my lap and listen to me read stories to them. (Although if they were old enougt to listen to Where The Red Fern Grows, they wouldn't fit on my lap. My pooch isn't that big!)
This is my favorite book to read to little ones!